12/26/11

The Christmas spirit...

This is happening every year...
I start bitching about how people aren't making Christmas the holiday it should be... Be it for political correct censoring or materialistic commercialization... It's safe to say I pretty much ran the gannet on how the holiday ain't what it used to be...

However, I fail to address a particular group of people... THE HUMBUGGERS!
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That poor group of bastards that are forced to endure this insipid event year after year... You poor bastards...
And honestly I can understand why they hate the holiday... It's become this annoying chore that everyone needs to participate in... You are obligated to tolerate family and friends... You are obligated to put up with fellow classmates and coworkers... You are obligated to decorate your entire home with gody lights and inflatable gnomes... AND IT IS DOWNRIGHT DEMANDED OF YOU TO BUY EVERYONE SOMETHING!

Yeah... That might be feasible if I were, like, an oil zar on crack... But unfortunately I am on a fixed income and my holiday cheer isn't dictated by an ingestible platter of festive contraband... So forgive me if I'm not spewing gifts while my veins burst of holiday cheer...

Aside from this mass holiday hysteria these humbuggers have to put up with they now also have to deal with a plethora of overly cheerful jizzwads all up in there face saying: "Hey, where's your holiday spirit? Huh?" or "Don't be such a Scrooge. IT'S CHRISTMAS!"...
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If someone comes up looking like a Scrooge it's probably because there Christmas bonus wasn't an extra bottle of Valium in a case of liquor...

And... Speaking of holiday spirits... YOU HAD YOUR FILL! PUT THE BOTTLE DOWN AND STOP SPEWING YOUR HOLIDAY CHEER ALL OVER MY CARPET!
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And that's another thing... Why dose every fucker on the planet have to use Christmas as an excuse to get SHITFACED!
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THIS IRKS ME THE MOST!
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Every time somebody invites me to a holiday party it's just a bunch of douche bags with holiday hats vomiting over each other while an alcohol drowned slut runs around with mistletoe strapped around her vagina... Sorry folks. Not my kind of holiday...

I'd rather wait for Santa to bring me something more useful than general warts and a grab bag of STD's! CLOWNS!

SO! For this holiday season please be mindful of those who don't care about it. Leave them the fuck alone. And if they don't have "the holiday spirit" it's probably because overdeveloped cocksnots, such as yourself, have ruined the holiday year after year by making it a materialistic, giftslinging barfight!
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SHUT UP! LEAVE THEM ALONE! And take of that stalking at home with the greatest of care over the fireplace and put it over your head!
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TIS THE SEASON TO PLAY WITH A PLASTIC BAG MOTHERFUCKER!