Fatkins Diet...

Ok... I'm just fucking sick of all this dieting...
You fucking bunch of carb counting assholes need to stop...
All I hear out of everyones mouth is "Oh, I can't eat that. It has carbs"...
Well you know what? You need carbs... If you don't have carbohydrates your brain rots and your liver gets damaged... Nice... Now you are thin, you have some weird ass mental disease and a bad liver... Yup... The vanity is worth it...
I'm also sick of this fucking exchange program where you minus the fiber grams from the fat grams and the carb grams to determine what the carb ratio is in your food... Fuck that...
If I pick up my food i'm not going to do addition and subtracting to see if it's a fucking meal that I can eat... How about just minusing some food out of your everyday eating pinches you fucking fat bastards...
Stop looking to some dead man for some quick fix diet and just eat like a normal human being...
Stop being so concerned about your image and just be yourself...
If you are a fat bastard, fine... Be a fat bastard... If you are a an anorexic jackass with a gland problem, fine... Be a twig... But stop doing all of these unnecessary diets... Because you know once you go down to your goal weight you'll be all like " I can have this piece of cake. Look at all the weight I lost"... Then before you know it you are back on the diet because your ass is falling out of your jeans... You fat bastards...
And anyway... I'm not going to start a fucking diet that says I can eat 3 burgers and a large coke but I cant have an apple... Because the apple has carbs...
Just be yourself... Eat that Twinkie... Enjoy that cake... Buy that gourmet creme cheese you always wanted... And if people look at you funny because you are to fat just tell them to fuck off and die...
You don't need to conform to an idealistic vision of beauty marketed by fashion magazines and negatively reinforced by a society dumb enough to believe that beauty only appears on the cover of a magazine...
FUCK THEM ALL!

...

I'M GOING TO FUCKING EAT A DOZEN PIZZAS... ALONE!