6/13/10

He and She...

This is going to be dating advice from THE LORD AND MASTER... Poke
So... Alright... You women out there listen closely... These guys you should watch out for...
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The type of guy driving around listening to f****** dance music like Zombie Nation or other songs from the mid 90' that nobody gives a f*** about... You know... The kind of guy driving by expecting you to jump on the hood, pounding on the windshield yelling "OMG! I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU LISTEN TO ZOMBIE NATION!" Whatever...
I say you aim for the tires and hope he crashes into a phone booth... F****** prick...
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And watch out for those guys that come over on the weekends to watch the game... And every five minutes they say "Hey babe, why don't you get me a beer?"
F*** that sh!t and tell the fat bastard to get it himself...
But then he gives you the response "Well i work all week!"
But I'm sure most women work all week and have to take care of a baby...
Tell the fat bastard to get his own f****** beer... The least thing he can do after you kept a child in your stomach for nine months...
These lazy f****** bastards piss me off!
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An watch out for guys that call you pet names more than they call you by your real name... And if they call you, and I quote,"MY GIRL" drop them like a rock!
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And not to get down on all you guys, don't worry! There are women out there you should be looking out for too...
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Like a girl that dresses like a damn slut you don't want to be associated with... If you can see more cleavage than on a plumbers ass don't get involved! It's just going to be difficult when you decide to be possessive and domineering over there life..
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Also watch out for women that wear excessive jewelry... You know... The kind of bitch that has like eleven rings on each finger... And women with nameplates... Those girls that wear there own name as jewelry around the neck... As is they f****** forget...
And women with a name tattooed on there body...
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And here's a good test... If you are walking on the street and they pull you by the wrist over to a jewelry window... SMASH HER HEAD INTO THE WINDOW AND RUN!
You don't want to hook up with a money hungry bitch!
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My only sound piece of advice in a relationship is to LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE! Don't be over concerned, don't try to control them, don't try to dominate them... Let each other be independent... Do you people think you can understand that?
But there are moments to be suspicions... Like if he/she walks in the room with a condom on her head you have the right to be suspicious... Ask questions...
But other than that just try to trust each other and it will all work out fine...
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If it still dose not work just let him/her drop dead from some weird disease...
You are better than that and you don't have to validate your life to someone else's life...
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Each individual is an island and can be an island... You do not need another person to live your life... Stop seeking something that isn't there and move on...
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Oh... and one more thing... When you are with her/him don't look at your friends to find a confirmation to what you do/did/should do!
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Over-possessive sluts/man-whores who can't get there heads out of each other's junk... GOD!

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